Tuesday, May 17
When Corey Went Berzerkeley
Corey at Work in 1994
Armed with the intellectual weapons of small city life and culture, my friend, Corey, attended a recent English Department graduation ceremony for his niece --- in Berkeley. Surrounded by a Greek amphitheater and hillside amenities, it was time to soak in some big city campus culture with other families and friends (and graduates) who had come to hear those rare jewels of wisdom so often heard in major commencement speeches.
Expecting to hear encouraging thoughts and down-to-earth, kick-in-the-pants elocution, poor Corey had to endure (without laughing, mind you) the most miserable keynote speakers' prattle imagined. The main agenda topic was Bash America, with subtopics that included "It's all about ME!" and "I'm published, but I'm an idiot and I don't know what I'm talking about!"
Hoping the worst was behind, it was finally the Valedictorian's turn. He stumbled, bumbled and crumbled through his valedictory. So much for saving grace.
The moral of the story: Get your degree on the Internet, then listen to an old Bill Cosby record for the kick-in-the-pants acumen.