Saturday, September 30

Is There a Reefer Ranch Near You?

The rage in Stockton is to see how many expensive houses you can buy, gut the interiors, put in elaborate growing systems, circumvent the electric meter and start growing California pot. Twenty homes have been discovered.

After a few weeks, the citizens are on the prowl for these homes and no suspicion is considered too trivial. Can't see in your neighbor's windows? Must be a pot house. Never see anyone home? Gotta be a weed farm. Only young Asian guys frequenting the place at odd hours? You guessed it --- a reefer ranch.

The rumor is that Spinach will be the next cash crop.

Tuesday, September 12

Better Blonde Than Dead

A recent study has determined that motorcyclists who don't wear helmets are less likely to be in an accident. The report states that drivers are extra cautious when they see someone without headgear and tend to drive farther away from them.

Well, now you can be doubly-safe by buying that wig you've always wanted and gluing it to your safe-and-sound-keep-your-brains-in-the-can helmet.

Paula's Wigs is a good place to start.

Saturday, September 2

No Pain, No Fame

Who woulda thunk it? More court drama this year as Andre Agassi wins the second round of the men's U.S. Open. Having received his third cortisone shot for back pain, the 36-year old fogey fought a 21-year young opponent. Hardly a fan or follower of tennis stars, any gutsy bravado is worth my applause, especially the David and Goliath kind.

Now, will he really retire his racket this year as promised and maybe start coaching like Jimmy Conners, or will he continue to destroy his body and crash in flames next season? I think he's wise enough to retire on the mountain.

Perseverance is one of lifes greatest virtues. St. Paul, writing his last letter before getting his head chopped off, told young pastor Timothy, "For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them that love his appearing." 2 Tim. 4:6-8